Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
