I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
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Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
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My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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