hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
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