singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
