You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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