yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
