I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
you inspire me to be a worse person
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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