i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
