I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
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dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
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True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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