Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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