you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
