well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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