i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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