You really coming over, don't trick.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
