I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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