whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
