I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
