Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
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Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
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I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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