It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize