yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
