Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
