And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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