i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
