He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
my liver is dry heaving
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
