I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
