awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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