Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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