yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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