I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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