dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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