her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
