So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
