Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
