So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
