she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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