Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
