I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
