I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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