There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
