11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
PANTIES FOUND
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