Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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