it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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