I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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