Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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