420 ftw
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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