Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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