nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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