I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
