I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
you inspire me to be a worse person
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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