You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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