Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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