I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
