yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
