how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
