There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
