just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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