I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
