in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
