wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
