Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
