I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
