omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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